Is that Jesse from Breaking Bad? Haha
I REALLY like that character. The voice, the inflections, everything. He's very well done.
Teddy... Good, but could use some work. So here goes that:
First off, despite how different the voices might feel, it's important that you go all out in contrasting your voices. Use different pitches. Make his voice quite a bit higher, so he really stands out against Steve.
The same goes for your other characters. Make sure their voices are in different registers! Otherwise, it's obvious that it's all one guy.
Next, recording and mixing:
First off, it sounds like you used a good mic. But regardless of the quality of a mic, you NEED to insulate the area around it. Otherwise, an unpleasant reverb makes its way into the recording. It sounds distant, as opposed to the presence you're looking for.
Second, noise removal is crucial.
Simply take a two or three second recording without anything but the ambiance of the room, and go to Noise Removal in the Effects bar of Audacity, and you just have to Get Noise Profile. From then on, you can use the Noise Removal to remove the background buzz.
Ultimately though, I really liked this. The characters were likable and interesting, working as a perfectly contrasting duo. The story was easy to listen to, and consistently charming. The ending was funny and satisfying (though a little predictable), and this stands to be one of the only two entries I have been able to listen to from start to finish.
Good work!
-Jacob
PS I'm scouting you for the Audio Portal